Remember the time you worked for that state-owned auto company and got invited to the annual banquet and said yes and were surprised when everyone started relaxing and having a good time and soon you were even flirting with Xiao Li and thinking it might go somewhere but then the next thing you remember was waking in a pitch-black room with your body wracked in a kind of throbbing scream and your mind seized with visions from Ecclesiastes, wondering how you managed to get from the banquet hall to this place, and where exactly was this place anyway?

Let us be frank: it does not take much exposure to China to learn that there are some activities in this country that are not conducive to either learning mandarin or continuing to live. This lesson covers one of those cases, but is also a bit of a dual-use podcast. Because while the mandarin we cover has the potential to get you into trouble, it can also help keep you sane in a different context. So listen up and use your newfound powers for good or evil as you wish.